There's only one person in the world called Lemn Sissay. And he learned that his mother had been pleading for his safe return to her since his birth. He was British and Ethiopian. Raise me with sunshine, bathe me in light: Lemn Sissay. Lemn Sissay, writer and Chancellor of the University of Manchester, held the Great Hall of Bolton School Girls Division mesmerised during an emotional rollercoaster of an evening. It taught me the middle-class way of life: how to lay a table and make a bed and eat with a knife and fork. He really put it on the map and allowed it to be something that we could be proud of as an identity and talk about as a political thing. At school I was subject to all kinds of questions about my race, which I couldnt answer. I am mightily proud of being care-experienced as its made me who I am today. My friends. You felt like you had to grow up too fast., The issues around growing up in care dont magically stop at 25, just because public policy stops, says Jim Goddard, who went into care in Liverpool aged three. His shattering, light-searching memoir, My Name Is Why, is the result. Mum had always said that love was never in question. My Name Is Why: Quick Reads 2022: Amazon.co.uk: Sissay, Lemn: 9781838854645: Books Skip to main content .co.uk Hello Select your address Now hes a national adviser for England, advising the government and local authorities how to have a better leaving care offer to the more than 80,000 kids that weve got in care. And he learned that his mother had been pleading for his safe . Both have experienced it, from very different perspectives, and met in person for the first time on this week's episode of Yahoo podcast White Wine Question Time. Rosie Canning, aged four, as a bridesmaid to her foster mothers son, 1962. Other weird things started to happen. Lemn means 'why' in Amharic, the official language of Ethiopia, where celebrated poet Lemn Sissay's mother was from. Christopher Goldsmith lived for a month, he writes, then quietly died, slipped away/ Almost never existed Christopher died so that I might have life/ and have it more abundantly.. Id never thought of myself as a different person., Principal and artistic director of Bird College, Sidcup. Ripped away from his Ethiopian mother in infancy, he endured over a decade of mistreatment and wilful cruelty in the British care system. My experience has taught me the importance of having kind, supportive adults in the lives of children in care to help them feel safe, cared for and treated like one of the family, she says. He asked me to yelp so it sounded like I was being punished. He reflected how he had since forgiven his foster parents, saying they did the best they could and he had also received apologies from Wigan Council. So, stealing biscuits from the tin, taking pieces of cake without saying please and thank you, staying out late at night, the occasional cigarette they saw this as the devil working inside of me. We passed the butchers and the chemists and Wigan Road and passed the Flower Park and the main park, the junior school and Byrchall High School, and then unfamiliar territory unfolded before me: the East Lancashire Road. It took her nine years before she revealed who his father was and Lemn discovered he had been a pilot for Ethiopian Airlines and had died in a crash in 1974. I got racial abuse for a small amount of time, he recalls. Now hes written a lyrical memoir describing his experiences, Lemn Sissay, poet, performer and chancellor at the University of Manchester, was born in Billings Hospital near St Margarets House for pregnant unmarried girls and women in Wigan, Greater Manchester, to an Ethiopian student on 21 May 1967. He is now Birds principal and artistic director. I am, as I have ever been, interested to hear anything Catherine has to say about the eleven year old boy who she and her husband placed into care. And it gave me comfort to see your views on forgiveness and forgetting, for whilst I can see the psychological argument in favour of forgiveness, I stand with the words of a Holocaust survivor, 'There is no such thing as closure; it is a word invented by people who . His mother, a young Ethiopian studying in England, had refused to give him up for adoption when he was born in 1967. She was pregnant with her son Lemn, who would go on in later life to become a playwright, broadcaster, writer and speaker. This is Lemn's story, a story of neglect and determination . It's the first time in many years . Both almost insisted Norman had to leave today. Social workers report, 2 January 1980: Attitudes seemed hardened and therefore I arranged to take Norman to Woodfields. Social workers report. This was the beginning of empty Christmas time and hollow birthdays. His mother was a student at the time of his birth who had come from Ethiopia to study in Bracknell City, England. During this time, no care worker knew him for beyond a year and meanwhile he had lost his parents, his siblings and other family, his friends, his first girlfriend, his town and his identity. These are the words of Mr Graves, the headteacher in my files, in January 1976, from the social workers report: Spoke to Mr Graves several times on the phone and eventually visited the school. are! I loved the Market, the Flower Park, the Big Park, the books. I asked when my clothes and toys would be arriving. He said with age had come wisdom and he realised that bitterness rots the vessel that carries it; forgiveness for him has given him great release. Sissay realised he'd been stolen. Answering questions, he said he is still angry but now it is more defined and he does not maintain the same anger of his youth. She wanted her child to be fostered while she studied. One is piteous, the other heroic. The foster parents have spoken of adoption, but they are afraid that investigations may lead to his mother. Social workers report. I had no idea Mum thought it was my fault. Interspersing readings from his new collection Gold from the Stone with moving and raw recollections of his childhood, Lemn transfixed the audience. He felt that Normans successes were too many for [his brother] Christopher to cope with. Or 45 years. Sissay has spoken out about his care experience and its many traumas throughout his career as a poet and broadcaster. I wanted to be in care to get out of that situation. His experience in childrens homes and foster families between Surrey and Lancashire was excellent. Born in Wigan to an Ethiopian mother, Lemn Sissay was placed in foster care as a baby, and sent aged 12 to the first of a series of childrens homes. Lemn means 'why' in Amharic, the official language of Ethiopia, where celebrated poet Lemn Sissay's mother was from. His love will shine through me and them. 19 April 1978: There is a letter on file from Normans mother, written in 1968, requesting he be returned to her in Ethiopia perhaps Norman should be made aware of this? Social workers report, on which someone has written in block capitals, NOT YET I THINK. Director of strategy and integration for Central and North West London NHS Foundation Trust, Im hopeful that attitudes towards those in care are changing, says Meera Mistry, who was in foster care in London for most of her teens. Its one of the things thats made me the happiest recently, the number of people who will happily associate themselves with their care experience, says Jonny Hoyle. These moments stuck in my memory. Where I grew up, in a very white conservative area, there werent any other people who looked like me for the best part of 16 years, she says. Poet Lemn Sissay says he felt obliged to accept his OBE because the award honours his younger self who overcame a "dehumanising" time in care. The internationally acclaimed poet and playwright Lemn Sissay OBE shares the story of his life by recalling five memorable dishes. In terms of the care system, everybody has such massively different experiences, she says, and the fact that sometimes we are all put into one bracket is, I think, a little bit unfair., Artist, puppet-maker and puppeteer for film and TV, I decided quite early on that whatever happened to me, I wasnt going to be a victim of it, says Marcus Clarke, who lived in two national childrens homes in the early 60s, aged four to seven, while his mother was caring for his ailing father. From 13, he lived at a Barnardos care home in Ripon, North Yorkshire. It was about having support and confidence, and knowing what is possible, she says, I didnt even know what an artist was.. This is an edited extract from My Name Is Why: a Memoir by Lemn Sissay, published by Canongate on 29 August at 16.99. I learned a lot about life, about loyalty, about being non-judgmental. But dont be fooled, she says. An encounter with Sylvester Stallone in the Sinai desert, while working as an extra on Rambo III, prompted Mark Riddell to turn his turbulent care experience into a force for change. I was mostly well looked after, he says, and learned to be happy in my own company., Ive become somebody to whom family and community is incredibly important, says opera singer Jack Holton, who was born in Kent to a single mother with health issues and fostered at an early age. I was the eldest. Not even a Bible. It was followed bySome Things I Like, which he said he had recounted to a girlfriend after she had asked him to tell her something about himself. I would narrate the game against Christopher, my invisible brother and Id let him win. She showed him a letter that she had written in 1968, 4 months after he had been born, in which she pleaded, to no avail, that he be given back to her to live with his own people. Its radically changed who I am.. We look at reclaiming the adoption narrative and reframing the worlds view on adoption, and also helping adult adoptees heal from their trauma.. He then secured himself a flat on Poets Corner, a housing estate near Wigan. At the age of 17, after a childhood in a foster family followed by six years in care homes, Norman Greenwood was given his Birth Certificate. There are a lot of big emotions flying around the room. Raise me with sunshineBathe me in lightWash all the shadowsThat fell from the night, 11 December 1974: There are no problems with Norman. Now, as he approaches his 55th birthday, he's added another: children's writer. I have a very happy childhood memory of being in Scotland on holiday when I was about four. Lemn Sissay, My Name Is Why. He told how he still had NG tattooed on him (for Norman Greenwood) but at that point changed his name and started the search for his mother who he finally tracked down in Gambia, where she worked for the United Nations. The result is an inspiring photograph for young people in care today, Introduction by Claire Armitstead. Its a mixture of stigma and admiration, says Martin Figura of attitudes towards people in care. It is not sunny, but Lemn Sissay is sheltering behind dark shades, hunched over as he inhales cigarettes to feed his near-40-year habit. My brother Christopher was eight. It could be: this is everybodys problem., Ive started to connect with my identity as an adopted person a lot more in the past couple of years, says Luke Wright, who was adopted at five weeks. They were religious, and theyd never had [to deal with] an adolescent before. This was the beginning of not being touched. Why - and the search for the answer to why - became the word that defined Lemn . Jenny Bagchi spent time in foster care and unregulated settings as a teenager before experiencing an abrupt end to care at 16. A school report calling the boy "a ray of sunshine" is probed for racist overtones, and happily exonerated. Poet Lemn Sissay and actress Lisa Faulkner became friends on Twitter, united by one common interest: children in the British care system. The heartache and anger of his youth alternate in his poetry with lighter, whimsical aphorisms and celebrations of place . Yes, you did.. This is Lemn's story: a story of neglect and determination, misfortune and hope, cruelty and triumph. Reconnecting with her birth family in Eritrea in her late 20s allowed me to realise the multiplicities of who I am, to make connections around inter-country adoption, and the idea that you can belong in multiple places and with multiple families. Night cant drive out nightOnly the light aboveFear cant drive out fearOnly love. Ive never used it in a serious way, and I absolutely never will, says Stewart Lee of mining his care experience for standup material he was in care for the first year of his life before being adopted by a couple in Solihull. As much as you read this book and are in shock (or not) at how this young black child was dragged through a problematic system and feel angry at the injustices he has faced, you can't . Charles Dickenss orphan Oliver Twist is one of scores of names plastered over the walls of the room where the volunteers gather for coffee and biscuits before the shoot, along with James Bond, Jane Eyre, Han Solo and Huckleberry Finn. On the back another poem is handwritten, composed on the train into London this morning, fresh on the page. His affectionate nickname was Bunty. Lemn thanked the audience, saying: You have been a blessing and shared my story. I put it to him that it was the only home the boy had known.. Christopher was their first-born, but I was their first. Spectacularly ordinary, is how poet Paul Cookson describes his very happy childhood in Lancashire alongside three other siblings, all of them adopted. Mr Sissay detailed his experiences in the British . He was awarded an MBE for services to literature by The Queen of England, The Pen Pinter Prize and a Points of Light Award from The Prime Minister. And so, the poet took the Wigan council to court. "Margaret Thatcher was my mother," he says, beginning his story. Buy a copy for 11.99 at guardianbookshop.com, Lemn Sissay will be at Southbank Centre on 18 October as part of the London Literature Festival, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. He learned that his real name was not Norman. Antiques Roadshow star Lennox Cato has travelled up from Kent with his immaculately behaved labradoodle, Tilly; poet and playwright Louise Wallwein has come from Manchester with her support dog, Maisie, who is so overexcited that she gets through a whole packet of placatory doggy treats. It was a difficult situation, he says. This photograph alone proves that with the right support and opportunities, those stereotypes are false.. I looked back, but they were turning to go indoors, mindful of the neighbours. Sarah looked pretty as a picture in her blue floral dress. I loved life: Lemn Sissay with friends in the days when he believed his name was Norman. Mrs Greenwood does not think of the boy as a foster child. I loved him. But the responsibility is too great for a child and so he finds himself manipulated and blamed for what he exposes by the simple virtue of innocence. He shared the abuse he suffered during his formative years in the one-off show . Her care experience in West Yorkshire was reasonably positive, partly because I was just happy to have a home. His mother refused to sign the adoption papers. I was born in the era of forcible adoption my mother was coerced into giving me up, says Louise Wallwein. Many of us who stood at the Foundling Museum have had to battle our way through systemic failures and discrimination. Mum smelled like mums smell; there must be a smell a child is attuned to from being a baby, a cross between baby powder and witch hazel. His mother was asked to sign adoption papers, but refused; she wanted him back when she could manage better. And thats all right, but thats the deal. I sat at the table and my mum looked at me intensely. Theres all sorts of shapes of family that can work and your community can be whatever you choose it to be. Available in used condition with free delivery in the UK. Mr Sissay with his godmother Ethiopia Alfred (Jonathan Brady/PA) After being reunited with his birth mother aged 18,. He spent 10 months in Wood End Assessment Centre in 1984. Mr and Mrs Greenwood realise there may be many problems ahead with Norman. The skies are grey. Written with all the lyricism and power you would expect from one of the nation's . One of the best things [foster care] has given me is the knowledge that it doesnt need to be a totally typical family setup to work, he says. We usually get the narrative told about us so its nice to tell it ourselves, she says. Every one of us has a different story, says Sissay, beaming around the room in a shirt that is playing catch-up with the sun. My name, my brother . Mcintosh managed to make it to university and now runs a Caribbean restaurant, Sugarcane London, in Wandsworth, but he remains scarred by his experiences. Google "Lemn Sissay" and all the hits will be about him. Lemn Sissay is a BAFTA-nominated, award-winning international writer and broadcaster. Akabusi joined the British army aged 16 and later embarked on a glittering athletics career as a sprinter and hurdler. Lemn Sissay: 'My foster parents were good people who did bad things' Interview by Donna Ferguson The poet talks about how his foster parents put him into care at the age of 12 and left him there,. He had a brother and sister, Christopher and Sarah, and then Mrs Greenwood had another child, Helen. I carried a lot of anger for many years and then I realised that the anger is one of the things that kills people. Lemn Sissay is a BAFTA-nominated, award-winning writer and broadcaster. Ive put a great amount of my own time back into trying to improve things for other people., It destroys you as a person, the amount of anxiety you develop from always expecting something to go wrong in your life, says Tarell Mcintosh, who became homeless after two local authorities in south London failed to properly care for him. He was brought up by foster parents as Norman Greenwood and was put into the first of four children's homes in Greater Manchester in 1979. Thered be many times in the future that I would play table tennis with myself by pushing the table against the wall. His parents, unaccustomed to dealing with a young man, said he had the devil inside him and had him put in a childrens home. This is a great opportunity to celebrate our achievements, says Keith Saha of the Foundling Museum project. We wrestled. They were just friends, says Cato, now an expert on Antiques Roadshow. Being adopted is definitely something that puts a mark on you, says fashion and portrait photographer Philip Sinden. A decade ago, Clare Gorham was very much pro transracial adoption. This is the story of being stolen by the state and his 17 years in local authority care. I was a questioner. When Stallone heard Riddells tale of growing up in Aberdeen childrens homes in the early 80s, he urged him to share his story more widely. They were good people who did bad things. Through my lived experience of being adopted, I co-founded a mental-health organisation called Adoptee Futures, which is led by adoptees and which centres adoptees. His mother couldn't cope with him and his brother so they were put into the care of . What happens if you want to be neither? Soon afterwards she died of cancer and De Abreu ended up, after several foster placements, living in the notorious Jersey childrens home Haut de la Garenne. Today, we are as close as she can allow herself to be. Mum and Dad said I was like Macavity. Theyd come down to see us and say hi. Author, broadcaster, chancellor of the University of Manchester. I know so many care-experienced people whove had that further experience of being homeless, being a rough sleeper, living in hostels, sofa-surfing, all that kind of stuff.. 3 January 1980: My mum wouldnt hug me as I left, so I hugged her. Because her care experience happened so early she was in and out of a foster home in east London until the age of five Siroun Button never really thought of herself as somebody whod been in care. You just get used to battling with everybody all the time, and you always have your guard up. They carry on, and people deal with them in various ways. Goddard is the chair of the Care Leavers Association, which focuses on care leavers of all ages it might help people access their care files, or deal with issues around social isolation. His is an extraordinary story of family, and identity, lost and . Her adoption broke down when she was nine and she moved through various childrens homes around Manchester until leaving care at 17 because I came out as a lesbian and it was a Catholic childrens home. The documents armed Sissay with the necessary proof that "the government had stolen my childhood.". Today we stand proud as care leavers and remove societys stigma. Brown defied expectations by progressing to university and getting a Masters. Its really horrible.. But I will ask God for forgiveness and learn to love you. This was the perfect answer. We raced each other home from school every day and every day I got there first. The motivation, he says, comes from being 11 years old, losing my dad, going into a childrens home [Skircoat Lodge in Halifax], being really badly physically abused, ending up homeless, but then going back into the care sector and seeing that nothing had changed.. When you are told by your parents that you are something you know you are not, it is very scary. Come what may, I may be knocked down, but I wont be down for long., Artist and founder member of the darkroom e5process, Tina Rowe first encountered racism when, aged six, she moved with her white adoptive family from a small Oxfordshire village to Malvern in Worcestershire. She lived with a foster family from 12 to 14 and then spent a couple of years in a childrens home. Poet Lemn Sissay, who said he was abused at Wood End as a child, returned there for a 1995 documentary . They wanted me to ask God for forgiveness and through him I will learn to love them. Lemn Sissay was stolen by the state. When he was four, Kriss Akabusis parents returned to Nigeria, leaving him alone in the UK with his younger brother. If I told someone I was in care, their handbag would move to the other side, jokes Luis De Abreu, who made his escape through acting and is now principal of the dance and music theatre conservatoire he joined after dropping out of school at 15. I was just nudging into adolescence at the time, and theyd recently had their third child, Helen. I took off my trousers and gave them to my brother. Youre on your guard. Lemn Sissay is a poet, author and broadcaster who was the official poet of the London Olympics in 2012. Its difficult to build a relationship with a mother. But there is no moment of revelation in this story where everybody hugs. Now she is a lived experience consultant and the co-founder of calling4gr8ness.org, supporting care-experienced young adults in the creative industries. . $21.87 10 New from $16.75. The foster parents, Catherine and David Greenwood, went on to have three children of their own. Lemn was born in 1967; two months later, he was taken into care. The installation, Superman Is a Foundling, is another of Sissays initiatives, drawing attention to the ubiquity of the orphan in popular culture, and it momentarily shocks the poet and performer Luke Wright to find his own history reflected in a literary trope. The Greenwoods were strict Baptists and their foster child's high spirits appeared to wear them down. Its never really been something that had a lasting effect on me., CEO of Adoptee Futures and critical adoption studies researcher, I was fostered till the age of one and then placed with my adoptive family, says Annalisa Toccara. For ever, for ages, until the end came, no matter how volatile the day had been, Id pray shed open the bedroom door before I slept, Id pray shed sit on the edge of my bed and sing me to sleep as she did when I was younger. Why would I think anything else? When my foster parents put me into care, at the age of 12, they said: Were never going to write to you, were never going to come. I could never have imagined that the people who said they were my parents for ever could do such a thing. Lemn Sissay. After a 31-year campaign he received them in 2015. The exhibition Superheroes, Orphans & Origins: 125 Years in Comics runs there until 28 August, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, Top to bottom, left to right: Clare Gorham, Keith Saha, Michelle Brown, Kriss Akabusi, Jim Goddard, Allan Jenkins (on the right), Stanley J Browne, Siroun Button, Martin Figura, Mark Riddell, Paolo Hewitt, Lucy Sheen, Lemn Sissay, Olumide Popoola, Paul Cookson, Lennox Cato (on the right), Sylvan Baker, Axa Hynes, Barrie Sharpe. The journey took about 45 minutes, or 45 seconds. This is what I have chosen. She calls on the phone and and I walk in the garden as we speak. Best known for designing clothes for Diana, Princess of Wales, Bruce Oldfield was born in Durham and fostered at 18 months by a seamstress, Violet Masters, who taught him how to sew. I just felt this overwhelming relief when I found out the truth, he says, because I was always told, they didnt want you. For Fretwell, writing and making films is a way of dealing with both his care experience and the racism he suffered growing up in Bognor Regis. They were my parents and I loved them unconditionally. He was the eldest of three adopted siblings, all from different families. $12.79 12 Used from $6.23 32 New from $8.47. My foster father was a teacher and my foster mother was a nurse. Thats all I knew. Lemn Sissay is a BAFTA-nominated, award-winning writer and broadcaster. He lost touch at nightTheir fingertips withdrewNobody touched him, light,Except you. I appreciate it.. I showed my love for him by punching him. He received his MBE in 2010. Moving unexpectedly from subject to subject, he thanked the girls for producing such wonderful flags devoted to his poetry which he had seen on the English corridor and said had truly moved him. If we spent long enough with each other, wed probably all start crying. Buy My Name Is Why: Quick Reads 2022 Main - Quick Reads by Sissay, Lemn (ISBN: 9781838854645) from Amazon's Book Store. He advocates for children in the local authority's care and is involved in organisations concerning their welfare. If youd asked me as a child, Id be like, Oh, Im adopted but its not a thing. Now he acknowledges that there is probably some degree of separation anxiety as a result of not being with my mother in those crucial first few weeks. Now Im starting to realise that it did really have an impact on me, she says. Fortunately were all busy people, so we have to rush off. 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