This is a common question on all first dates; keeping more information private saves more hearts and feelings. The choices a person makes in life reflect upon that individuals character, and /everything/ is in the past, once the moment passes, so yes, how many people someone chooses to give their body to, and under what circumstances, certainly reflects upon that individual. Disagreeing is a part of life and I completely understand people will not always agree with my perspective. great number of men for the same reason. Somebody who DIDNT want that, ever. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Enter your email below to join the VIP list. cant hold it against the woman I love. However, all else being equal, women with more sexual partners are more likely to undergo a failed marriage. A person exposing the number of past partners has nothing to do with the present moments situation.. The best way to evaluate who a person really is, is toyou knowactually look at how he/she has lived his/her life. They need to evaluate if this man is worthy, if he will stick around, if he will man up and assist her in raising the child or at the very least pay child support. Life. Neighbor, as long as you carry that deeply engrained mindset you will have nothing but uphill battles in all of your personal romantic relationships. I literally threw up. Thank you for sharing that Justina I really appreciate your willingness to do that. Problem is you cant take that back, youre just hoping they pop out the same number lol. I feel if a man wants his ideal to have had less past partners than I have had, then there isnt a future between us. So I take it that you would have no problem dating a former child rapist? Based on your comment I will assume you believe in GOD. Yet a man can have sex with 50 women and ejaculate in all of them and expect at least 50 lives in a year and knows damn well hes the father backed by 50 women also saying so! No way either of us could get bored and look elsewhere!! Yep! Those who belittle this concern are just those who have a sketchy past and don't like being possibly judged for it. It is amazing to see how in other Religions throughout the world encourage multiplying.and theyre not talking about the female having many children. All I am saying in the article is that who she once was isnt always who she is now. All in all I just dont feel we should be looking at the amount of men If you are prepared to be the man she needs, and you have a genuine connection with her, then all that other stuff really does not matter. Its cute (from the human perspective) and very fairytale like to add such insertions that we should not judge, but that is very delusional and REALITY makes a great point of it every single day! your lover, and if people on the market for dating were products, your value take her to my babysitting job and we can babysit the little kid and eachother ;) to my work, she can help me move machines and i can help her move her machine ;) maybe take her to a big scary movie called CLOWNS R KOOL and then buy her a balloon. Personally, I am a bit old fashionedI just think that having so many partners that you are ashamed to admit the number is disgusting. Those refusing to acknowledge a persons sexual past are really the ones insecure about it, not those who ask. whether or not she has a(n) std(s)) is very important concerning the number of partners that shes had but if a woman tells a man that shes slept with 3 men and neglects to add the 0 at the end of that, shes being dishonest and that violates the principle of another post that you made (4 keys to starting and maintaining a successful relationship) previously. They are hard limits for a reason. I do have a job and a life. Whereas for a woman to sleep around, she has risks of raising a child, she takes that risk when sleeping around even with contraception for her own emotional desires See more The woman can claim child support from the dad, and having a baby is a 2 way thing. Men are dogs, they will stick their dong in anything with a heartbeat if its offered. Nobody is talking about women who are prudish or disinterested in sex. behavior about those numbers. You may not mind to share your life with someone who has share herself with everyone who show some interest but for me it is very a very important detail as it is part of the whole person you arechoosing since I have that capacity of choice I want to have a nice person as a whole including a matching in our values personally I am sure I would not go ahead with a woman with this kind ofbaggage. I found out she was very open about hooking up and put herself on "hook-up" websites where she could trade nude pictures with random men who just were looking for flings. hint 4: take some time and really dissect the roots of these feelings and separate them from the trigger events. Whos gonna stick around for that? Everyone is different, despite gender. Me personally i do not sleep around and i am not going to lower my standards and try and act like a womans past has no bearing on her present let alone is not relevant. Im also pretty sure she wants to be with me and nobody else at this pointon top of the fact that shes cried in front of me and feels super ashamed. Always feel free to express yourself on my blog because even in disagreement the discussion can be good and productive. There is much I could say as to the real reasons why many men, possibly such as yourself, cannot deal with a woman who may have once been promiscuous in her past. The commandment was and is for both genders of mankind. This is why the whole idea of using her number of past partners as criteria is unnecessary. This is HILARIOUS from the perspective where people are making Judgment and the act of judging out to be a bad thing!!! -Choices have consequences So with that, is nobody worthy of redemption or are we to judge people on their past and hold their previous mistakes over their heads forever? You dont get to judge. My wife has been much more sexually active than I have. So what do men typically like? And she is the perfect wife! In the end your selling yourself short. I love the fact the despite only being with one man, you are still able to take the position of not using someones past against them. The skank on the other hand discloses with everyone how many people she's been with. So Stephan following your argument, if you would find a woman who 5-10 years ago had a gangbang and half of the town where you live had sex with her but now she is a very nice woman and has changed her values, you will embrace her and take her as your partner without having any problem or concern? Not Females, you shall not fornicate. She had never been sexually active and would only have sex if it was in a relationship with a man she loved. Really? So there is something much deeper going on. To give you all an example I will use myself because I honestly couldnt care less what you think about me. Reply 122. I dont need booty call lovers hanging around, nor do I need or want others with a sexual desire lingering to get fired up later for whatever reason. Men getting around has pretty much been accepted as it is. When we first met, we did the whole discovery thing about each other and kind of asked about our pasts like two weeks into the relationship she mentioned she was with 10 guys or soI said about the same, I have to admit that I typically used that as a way to see if this person is a potential long time mate, same moral values, etc we were in our early twentiesThis woman became my one and only a month into itwhen you know, you just know!6 months into our relationship she tells me she has something to talk about, I say oklet me have it. although Ive had my fair share partners i dont like a woman who has. It definitely plays a role for many people as to how they go about their sexual lives. So in applying it to what you just said. Lets say it was you in their spot. Yall need to start doing some research and stop sleeping around. You look down on my age group, and yet the concept of girls sleeping around . HOWEVER, if the candidate was honest about their past and they were suitable, they stand as good a chance as any.. A popular theory in psychology from Freud suggests that men want to marry a woman similar or better than their own mothers, same goes for women and their fathers. I guess it depends how you define tha. Your notions of beta this and slut that are so divorced from reality where do I begin. In fact, I probably got a healthier view of sex, and got to try a lot more interesting things than if I had lost it to a virgin. The reality is that this can happen with a woman who has had very few partners or many partners. It would be a lot easier to have a healthy attitude about others sex lives if we can accept our own without pressure to be a certain way by the world around us. Sleeping around especially as a girl is similar. forgotten how to be committed. 3 Risk Factors For Women Who Sleep Around Having Unattached Sex I understand your position, but I do not agree that it is the best approach. so much more than women!! Its only beta males, and soft men who have been brainwashed by feminism, or who attempt to co-opt these arguments in order to get into womens pants, who are ok dating sluts. Thanks for sharing! What I want to encourage you to do is to understand what is done is done. B) Twenty sex partners, had sex a total of 100 times. I feel like my bf doesn't love me anymore and it scares me. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? If I trusted someone and it came up, I Here is what I can get from you: Just broke up few months ago from an LTR and first girl you were intimate with (? Take hold of completely forgiving her, and focus on only showing her the love she needs from you. Since men have choices, we can choose to reward or punish this sluttiness on the part of young women. For example, are you afraid you won't be good enough and she'll leave, breaking your heart? Tighter in actuality isnt always better. Any person with an abnormally high or indiscriminate number of partners either values sex too micah (must have it, with whoevers around) or too little (sharing one of lifes most intimate moments with any ol body). At this point a # seems like the least of my worries. https://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/the-myth-of-the-high-rate-of-divorce/all/1/, https://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2011/10/what_s_your_number_do_women_still_fret_about_the_number_of_peopl.html, https://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/3600089?uid=3739448&uid=2&uid=3737720&uid=4&sid=21102211994521, https://atheism.about.com/od/atheistfamiliesmarriage/a/AtheistsDivorce.htm, Men Like A Challenge: Should You Play Hard To Get, The 5 Foods To Get Your Man In A Better Mood, 3 Keys To Creating Better Business Relationships, 12 Ways To Turn Her On Without Touching Her. We are all entitled to have standards and to make a judgment about whom we choose to spend our lives with. Well life just got a whole lot better for you, because you've found what we all look . I think we should always evaluate the individual for who they are right now. Personally, I think that men and women should strive to have a lower number of sexual partners but I dont think that women should try to act like men in the thinking that having numerous partners is a good thing. Lots of heartache there. Also many people dont realize there are tips for men who are not well endowed to still be able to bring a lot of pleasure to their wives. You understand, but at the same time, cant do anything to change Just relax. One called her a hoe. Who has the power there ??? Or do we grow up and understand that who someone was in their past is not always who they are in the present. This is why we all- male and female or female and male are in desperate need of Jesus and His awesome Grace, Mercy, and Forgiveness. Sometimes, you will find its not good for you at all. Times may have changed in some perspectives but evolution is a long process and these inbred instincts are deeply rooted which is why most men will have sex with a slutty girl, but will never marry or commit to her. This is how I feel. someone to come along and love you for who you are? 806 8067 22 Registered Office: Imperial House, 2nd Floor, 40-42 Queens Road, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 3XB, Taking a break or withdrawing from your course, Official Dental Hygiene and Therapy (Oral Health Science) 2023 Entry Thread. ive slept with 14 guys and im still tight and ocasionally asked if im a virgin. This post also feels like a way to almost look for what I want to hear i.e. Women lie period. so we moved on.. after 2 yrs, i am look for an arranged marriage (pretty normal in India). Good luck!! I completely agree to everything you said.. But she was still a really nice lady, and from what I hear pretty good at sex. Gender is not a social conscript everyone. Who are they sleeping with? Bottom line though? (Lets assume TONS is much larger than LOTS). Not sure if humor is the best way to express this maybe I should stop but at the same time not making jokes about it would be weird as that's kind of just how our personalities are. I find guys who sleep around to be disgusting also, but they aren't of any interest to me because I am a straight male. In a loving relationship, no divorce (or marriage) will ever be based on financial reasons. And I find monogamy more fulfilling than anything else. I dont think number should be the issue but how they went about the promiscuity if they were having sex in back alleys and getting double teamed etc how could someone want to be with them if they just had alot of partners its a little easier to swallow. give detailed information it will stick in their mind for the rest of their Whats cool is a man being willing to marry a woman he genuinely loves and connects with regardless of how she once was in the past. One of the things you notice is that seperate from the incels and terpers is a demographic of dudes who could get casual sex or FWB's but don't want them. If instead, we asked, "Would you marry a man who had sex with more than 15 people", the first thought that would pop into my head would be "15? Amen brother. Its like me saying, The sky often appears blue. Ive seen friends go through 4+ relationships in a year. Supportive. Sorry, Id much rather reward the woman who showed discipline, restraint, integrity, and respect for herself. Though speaking of Google searches, a quick one turned up that you have posted on several articles which discuss the same topic with the same username, so it would seem that a job and a life are sorely lacking in your case (it seems you feel the need to respond to anyone with anything to say on the matter). Its a reality of biology. And, yes, you should know. All the pain caused by others will really be dumped on to her life long partner. If she chooses to sleep with all 10 men that makes her easy. We're sinning again by lying! Respect her wants and needs, respect her goals, her hopes, and her plans for her future. ), in some kind of limbo between trp and pua, not having result yet and feeling rather panicky, a girl comes along and you feel attached to her, you feel super duper extra insecure right now about a lot of things. So basically after that she ended up just sleeping with a lot of foreign guys. I just could never judge those who choose otherwise. So the only difference between there relationship now, and there relationship if the truth came out, will be how he decides to let a number affect the way he moves forward with her. Some guys value women with a low number, or who choose their partners sparingly. Compare apples to apples, Crazy Obsessed Man. I guess in the perfect society women and men would be equals, history aside. Ive broken hearts and have been burned myself. But to think you cant find anyone compatible with you is B-S. People use the word perfect as an excuse to not have to live up to any expectations. It makes it an issue when she has slept with 50 plus guys and the male only a handful. The willingness to speak truth and the bravery to acknowledge it is paramount. Like I said before, we can just agree to disagree on this one. Sorry but it is a cutoff and a major factor in a potential mate. You dont sound like an expert. You also realize that if it doesnt work out, you leave with the same past It is very refreshing to read something like this. In choosing a partner for a relationship, matches up character and values is very important. Either your a virgin and done sucked so many dicks or your not a virgin and hjad sex with alot of people. So many men end up with a woman they swear meets their standards in regards to their sexual past, but really she has done much more then he will ever know. But how will explain Him away on that terrifying, yet, Glorious Day when you actually do meet Him face to face? I Dont see it as passing judgement. Now despite some of the accurate statements you made, the point is that women or people for that matter are not always the same person they once were. Sleeping with a lot of people says something about ones character. So even if a man views you as equal, his desire to not want to see the women he wants go outside his desired perception of her is to make her feel like she is nothing but a whore if she dares cross that line. A pedophile cant make a mistake. However, a guy can be just as much of a slut as a gal. This is because men are at low risk they can walk away, and if the woman becomes pregnant she is the one who bears 9 months of pregnancy plus childbirth and the resulting minimum 5 years of childrearing. 3 of the men I was seeing wanted to marry me, but they are more jealous. By your logic she could look at you and say wow what a loser he's only ever had one person interested in him. I love reading your articles, please keep them coming. Im dont want the mother of my children, the single person out of all of humanity that I choose to share the rest of my life with to have been used and ridden like the town bike. The whole premise of this article is misguided. She doesn't feel that she should have to settle down, and she thinks it's unfair that other women degrade her for this. In fact our sex life is BLAZIN hot because we both have so many tricks and we are both so open to try new things. Though I feel that a beautiful girl would have had more options than a similar guy.so I personally won't judge her on that. Maybe you would feel like you have one over on other people because you have My point is having 5 female lovers or 50 male lovers w/ the opposite sex doesn't matter! You can't have it both ways. They want a woman who has chosen Make smart choice with who you choice to sleep with and protect yourself and if your going to be a hoe men or woman stick your chest out and be honest with people about your numbers and your mates you dont have to tell everyone. We should strive to be righteous. And many guys love me. My guy friend in #1 is doing exactly that. Life is short. Then, my sweet little friend, I would suggest you do a thorough SELF-examination. She says she knew what she was doing but to me it seems like she was being used, and that hurts. I personally look at more who you sleep with not how many. About how each time she sleeps She thought she could convince me to change my mind, but the longer we dated, the more I became convinced that, regardless of how well we connected, I could never see her as a wife or the mother of my childrendue to her sluttiness and the fact she allowed herself to be used as a piece of sexual meat. Same goes for sluts. It matters to me because I purposely don't sleep around. The average women doesnt care. Sleeping around might be related to testosterone in both sexes. The vagina is made to accommodate different sizes. Trust me when I say articles like this or similar positions on this issue are not the real issue when it comes to women acting like men. Sin is sin is sin. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: Imperial House, 2nd Floor, 40-42 Queens Road, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 3XB, Taking a break or withdrawing from your course, FFS IDK WT HAPND 2MY QUESTION AND I DIDNT GET TO READ THE REPSONSE IF U HAVE As @ BIO, 2023 entry A100 / A101 Medicine fastest and slowest offer senders, TSR Community Awards 2022: Favourite Oldie - VOTING OPEN, BBC Fast Track Production Apprenticeships 2023. I may not be properly explaining this but I hope you get what I am trying to say. I haven't really said anything about this stuff to her and have been avoiding it like the fucking plague cause I don't want this toxicity to leak out. You could play an important role in her life, and teach her how lovely a LTR can be. N women should respect themselves, and men should as well! That would make you the asshole. I do not like the double standard but I cannot deny that it exists. At the end of the day none of those could capture her heart as you have. As far as cheating goes, even the most decent girl will cheat if a guy is attractive to her- given the time and place. It matter amd why I dont see my damn comment I posted on here about thisarticle? There is no double standard. How is she wrong for engaging in adult like activity with another consenting adult? Sex is suppose to be something special between two people not the neighborhood. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Obviously, the sexual freedom we She told me one instance where she went to a party and simply grabbed some random guy there and went into a room with him to have sex, and she was fully conscious not drunk. I have found that the most insecure women are the most sexual. I agree 100%. Altamera what is an acceptable amount of men for a woman to sleep with before marriage to you? Its not about the sex. Its fucking difficult to deal with no matter how much you love them. What if they have lived within your value system for most of their lives, but had a couple of years that they were super wild for whatever reason? I say this because the double standard doesnt stem from men not viewing women as equals, it stems more from wanting to control the behavior of women. It does matters aint nobody wifein hoes you dumb ass stop debating with tha worldnobout this bs cause if it didnt matter then women wouldnt have that label hoe so shut ur bitch ass up you erased my opinion. Just say you finnaly got a date, where would you go? Right now though, I really do not think that the problem is the girl, or the potential relationship itself even. Could you find out from women's perspective why they sleep with others outside of serious relationships? Correct me if I'm wrong:), You are concerned that the girl you like has slept with a lot of guys, maybe in excess and this really worries you. To a guy it does matter. Yes; if you are a man who is desperate, with few options, lonely, or perhaps a submissive beta, settling and investing in someone everyone else has gotten for free may be a solid option. Ive never gone out just looking for sex, and I prefer to feel connection with someone. Just settle because the other person isnt perfect. And its not just about the numbers. Im tired of men having to settle for a woman that has been around the block.. Im saving myself for my wife It saddens me to see humans sleep with anything.. Men and women are worth more than that Smh -_-. So the past could be the the reason they have a story to tell. LOL. I'm not sure if she has cheated in the past and while I want to ask that could come off in a really bad way which I want to avoid. A dream. Africa, over 60,000 years ago and migrate to all parts of our planet, women had A womans body is different. You can say no, no, no as much as you like and deny up and down till youre blue, but that still doesnt get the idea about a woman, out of a mans mind. Yeah I had to read the article again lol the first time I read it, I guess it came of as promoting promiscuity. I choose to try not do that. If he never asks or she never gives him a specific number then I do not think we should put that in the same category as a cheating wife. Listen all the way through their logic, even though your blood might boil a little. She is a human being like a man is a human being. love you back! I never agreed with the cant turn a hoe into a housewife Because a man being a player is just a nice word for manwhore. Means mentally you are stronger. , I am asking you to state your sources. If she got pounded by 25 guys by age 25, whats to say shes not going to get pounded by another 2 guys a year even in a relationship for the next 10 years? In addition, last time I checked, a woman is not a car to be driven. As I've tried to read about the concept of dating a slut I have been unable to find any success stories about someone who has dated a slut long term but I have found a lot of mostly red pill stuff that has said it is a bad idea. Men and women are different. Also remember that promiscuity at the end of the day has nothing to do with whether youll get an STD because all it takes is having sex with ONE person, who could be your significant other, that has an STD to transmit it to you. Bascially what im saying is if we never had numbers to say oh well having sex with 20 men makes you a hoe then we would have to base that on how she occured those sex partners. If youre honest more than likely you wouldnt. Men have conqiustadorian aditudes about many things including women. Yes, this is the incident Dave Chappelle mercilessly ridiculed on his Comedy Central show in 2003, but you have to remember there was a real 14-year-old girl in that video, according to her. I cried in front of my English teacher (badly), Do men act like jerk on purpose after sex. The fact is a matter of biology. Which is why so many will lie about there number. I dont think u r being objective. Or would you rather have a car thats bee driven by a lot of different people. It honestly is a question of a womans character. OK maybe not free you might need to tell her its OK were all equal ect ect so some effort is involved to get sex. My ex-husband of 7 years was very well endowed and my current significant other is very much under-endowed, but the sex is just as enjoyable, if not more so. You should have an idea that its not a good look. At the end of the day we all have to decide what is most important. In todays day and age sex dominates our society. I really do agree that the double standard about sex partners is ridiculous. In the words of Dr Dre. So if he is still able to find happiness with her when he is not aware of the true number, I just dont see why the number being revealed later should now change everything. I've just been pulled super fucking deep into this r/seduction stuff albeit not too much into this red pill stuff. Men are perfectly within their rights, when choosing a mate to spend the rest of their lives with and mother their children, to choose a women who is not only kind and intelligent, but also has not lived a life full of promiscuity and whorish behavior. 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