This article was first published in Tomorrows Child magazine. This way, you are guiding their behavior while giving them the freedom and respect they deserve. Freedom within Limits in Montessori Education (my post), The Beauty of Using Montessori Principles of Freedom and Consistency (my post), A Montessori Approach to Praise (my post), Best Maria Montessori Quotes (my post at Bits of Positivity), How to Manage Interruptions in Your Montessori Classroom or Homeschool (my post), Simple Way to Teach Kids to Stop Interrupting (my post with embedded video), How We Used Gentle Discipline in Our Homeschool (my post). These lessons require the child to follow an orderly step by step process, which will further develop both self discipline and logical thinking, thus laying a foundation for the more abstract academic activities offered within the other areas of the classroom. It has been shown that children thrive when they are faced with challenges that are just slightly outside of their current level of mastery. To have any meaningful discussion of these questions, it would seem that our first priority should be to define this thing called discipline. Children don't know the rules of the house until they're taught them, so that is one of your important parenting responsibilities. Before the age of three a child is truly unable to obey unless what is asked of her happens to correspond with one of her vital urges. Offering that freedom doesnt mean that you give in to their every impulse, rather that you give them a specific range of choices and respect their decisions. Their personalities havent formed yet, and they are incapable of making the critical decisions required for true discipline. 5. Montessori Discipline At Home Parenting and discipline go together hand in hand. Typically, toddlers hit or bite, not because they are angry, but because they are trying to explore a physical impulse. But, many people assume that discipline is something that is imposed from without by an authority figure who should be obeyed without question. You can offer a pillow to hit, kick, or punch, or a teether to bite to help satisfy the urge. Make sure students understand what they are gaining by being obedient, and what they stand to lose, such as a quality education, if they misbehave. Also, make sure to surround these children with adults and older children that respect each other and show self-respect. For young toddlers, we may be modelling how we get a tissue for a friend or a wet cloth for a friend who is hurt. How is reading taught in Montessori? The idea of Montessori discipline is to help the child understand what they are feeling and why they reacted in a particular way. 3. A toddler can obey, but not always. Creating a balance so that our children feel close to us, but also follow rules and respect boundaries is tricky. My sister told me that her three-year-old daughter bit her on the arm yesterday. I cant wait for some uninterrupted me time to sit down and dig into it all. The goal of the Montessori classroom whether it is a prepared environment for infants and toddlers, preschoolers, elementary, or secondary students, is first and foremost the development of skills necessary for a productive and fulfilling life. A Montessori approach to discipline builds intrinsic motivation instead. It is important to be on the same page and have consistency with how its handled. Not using bribes and rewards or punishment Bribes, rewards and punishment are all extrinsic motivations. * And more 2015new Date().getFullYear()>2008&&document.write("-"+new Date().getFullYear()); The Montessori Notebook for Jacaranda Tree Montessori B.V. Such courses as Redirecting Childrens Behavior, Active Parenting, or STEP, dove tail the Montessori approach to discipline. To stay calm, we need to do work on ourselves and know we are laying the foundation of our relationship with our child which we will build on as they grow from babies to toddlers to preschoolers and to school-aged children and teenagers. But boy is it tough! Staff development and parental services are provided by the school in order to bring the adults together to . Often, Kindergarteners are still developing at the second level, processing what figures of authority expect and connecting both positive and negative actions to consequences. Just as the very young child must first learn to stand before she can walk, she must develop an inward order through work before she is able to choose and carry out her own acts. In this post, I will be focusing specifically on how to handle toddler biting, but many of these tips will work for other types of aggressive behavior such as hitting or kicking. A timeout is more likely to cause resentment in the child than to encourage good behavior. If its not possible, be sure to adjust your expectations. Inner discipline is something, which evolves. Your childs brain is flooded with information on a daily basis. This level of obedience is the point where true inner discipline has been reached. Youll receive some awesome freebies in the process! It is important to remember, though, that we must teach children how to be friendly, kind, and obedient. Regardless of how well you understand and know the pillars of Montessori discipline, youll never be able to incorporate these methods without practice, adjustment and real life experience. Depending on the rate of language acquisition and cognitive development, children in Kindergarten may or may not be ready to advance to the third level of obedience. They are learning that we see them and value them, and sometimes its our job to keep them safe and we will support them if they are having a hard time. Remind yourself that children are usually only acting on what they know. These choices allow them to assert themselves in the situation and ensure that they are able to get what they want. It can be easy to fall into a be obedient or else mode of discipline, especially as children get older. What they see, they do. Freedom is not a word that is traditionally associated with discipline. Biting and Hitting It can be startling for parents to see children choosing aggressive behaviors. The biggest difference between a Montessori discipline style and a more traditional method is the lack of punishment, bribes and rewards. It is important to remember that your child is feeling overwhelmed with big emotions in this moment, and it is your job as the adult to help them process. Timeout is a classic disciplinary action that has students sit quietly, away from toys or classmates, to think about their actions. A lot of time and energy in this stage of discipline should go into modeling the behaviors we expect from children. This can be the most difficult part because, as parents, we often have personalities and experiences that we havent interrogated. Two-Year-Olds hitting can sometimes be a very effective way to handle new emotions. This is often the stage at which most parents and educators stop developing discipline in children because their only goal is obedience to authority. Children learn what to do when someone is unkind or unfair and how to discuss conflicts when they occur. But, there are other times when it probably drives you a little crazy. I love this course. Sunshine Teachers Training is the FIRST and ONLY Training Institute Accredited by Badan Akreditasi Nasional Pendidikan Anak Usia Dini dan Pendidikan Non-Formal Akreditasi B K5662824, Jl. Individual play yards for different age groups with age appropriate play equipment. Unfortunately, our children are not born with an owners manual. Ive updated this post and added more articles. Negative reinforcement will never be as powerful as positive reinforcement; it only offers an immediate solution to an ongoing problem. A Montessori approach to discipline works both in the classroom and at home. As a matter of fact, many adults are still learning how to cope with these issues. It is not discipline, but something which festers inside a child, arousing his rebellious feelings." (Montessori, Creative Development in the Child Vol. Your email address will not be published. The second you see your child feeling uncomfortable and agitated, take them away from the situation by inviting them to take a break with you. If you are not seeing any improvement after some time, things seem to be getting worse or the biting is excessive, you should look into Early Intervention services (sometimes called Birth to Three or Zero to Three). However, if you observe a family or classroom that uses this approach, you might be surprised to discover that the children respond quite well to Montessori discipline methods. If this is your first time visiting Living Montessori Now, welcome! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. link to Montessori School: Is It Right For My Child? Montessori reading tactics might seem a bit foreign if you are used to the traditional preschool educational methods. Threats, bribes or withdrawal of privileges were expected to make us comply with our parents wishes. Lets build an obstacle course you can climb on.. Beating/ hitting your child is not okay, even if your parents did it to you.A parent should never . Most conflicts or tantrums from young children are a result of them feeling as if they are not getting what they want in the moment. 8. You may have to hold their hand and keep them close. Not using bribes and rewards or punishment - Bribes, rewards and punishment are all extrinsic motivations. And if there are no limits, the child has license to do whatever they like without thinking of others or may have the feeling that no-one cares for them. Montessori discipline methods involve a calmer, quite level of intervention. Understanding why positive discipline is used in a Montessori setting is helpful as you get started, but all the knowledge in the world cant make up for lack of experience. amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; Always watch your own behavior around your child. Children should feel encouraged to explore the space and learn about how the freedom to explore requires responsibility. Montessori activities aide in this as well. A pillar of the Montessori discipline philosophy is learning your own triggers to avoid feeling stressed or overwhelmed. It is never easy for any parent to see their child being mean to others. The core of the Montessori Method is to foster self-motivated growth in children and adolescents by making them aware of their choices and the attendant consequences. Below are some discipline strategies you can employ to protect yourself and them from harm while teaching them better ways of handling their feelings and managing their behavior. I hope these tips have helped you feel confident that you can now handle a toddler biting. Cempaka Putih raya No:21, Jakarta 10510 Indonesia, Jl. Pondok Betung Raya No: 86 Bintaro (dekat sektor 4) Jakarta Selatan, US StudentsCanadian StudentsInternational Students, It is never easy for any parent to see their child being mean to others. However, there are many things you can do to address this behavior. Worse, your child may explore other ways to get those big reactions from you. Asking leading questions will get your child to think about the consequences of their actions for themselves, developing those critical thinking skills. During an outburst, tell children, I understand your anger. From newborns to toddlers and beyond, Montessori practices have the power to foster independence, confidence and joy at all stages. Your email address will not be published. The idea is to identify the trigger factors that set your child off and recognize when they are having a tough time. Talk with them about how it affects them and their community through conversations and lessons about what acceptable social behavior is and what behaviors are not acceptable. However, you can use this to observe when your child is showing negative behavior. Help child if they are having a hard time Ill link to an article I wrote about helping children having a tantrum. . amzn_assoc_title = "Related Products"; 1. Montessori Discipline 101. Explaining to them why certain activities or actions are not allowed helps build their understanding. Take the time to evaluate what causes you to feel anxious or angry around your children. Montessori schools take a different approach to discipline. There is a common misconception that Montessori children are allowed to do whatever they like, and another that Montessori is very strict. * Learn to understand your toddler better While many might question the success of discipline without these tactics, once implemented, adults might be surprised by the response. The best Montessori teachers or facilitators understand that maintaining the delicate balance is one of the most challenging and rewarding aspects of their job. What Are The Real Benefits of Sending a Child to Montessori? Preschool-aged children are generally in what the Montessori Method designates as the second level of obedience. While some strategies are similar, the general structure and order in which writing, phonics and reading get taught varies quite a bit. Montessori education handles discipline by helping children to consider consequences using clear, precise language to validate a child's emotions and ensure that they are free to make their own choices, as long as they are willing to face the consequences of those choices. Still, it is just as important that parents practice the Montessori Method of discipline at home as it is to practice it in the classroom. For instance, if your child is hitting their sibling, you might stop them from playing together for a while and tell the child, I wont let you hurt your sibling.. They havent developed the critical thinking capacity to understand the consequences of their choices. Whether youre a teacher in a Montessori classroom or a parent looking to bring these practices home, discipline in the Montessori system can help children to grow and learn. 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