LYDIA: Mother nearest, heart how dearest. Hey Lydia, check this out Dance break! Lets chop off his head. And I want everyone here to know it. All recently deceased individuals, form a line! Sophia Anne Caruso, who originated the role of Lydia Deetz in Broadway's Beetlejuice, has exited the production as of its Wednesday, Feb. 19 show. Okay, new plan. Based on the 1988 Burton film, this musical delves into the life of oddball teen Lydia Deetz, who meets a recently deceased couple and an unruly demon willing to help them haunt a house. It sayswe should draw a door. Now heres the problem. That means its working! LYDIA: No, it was adorable. INT. CHARLES: On behalf of Delia and myself, I'd just like to say, ALL (but LYDIA): DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WANNA GO HOME. You said no Ink Spots on this vacation! Maxie Dean loves shrimp! Cmon. No! I am also dead. BARBARA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? SCIENCE MAKES NO SENSE WHO NEEDS EVIDENCE? I wanna go home. Theyre queens! Im ready for some people to die. Im sorry its kind of a mess. Having lost her. You have sealed my fate with your betrayal. ADAM: My whole life flashed before my eyes! Animals and Pets Anime Art Cars and Motor Vehicles Crafts and DIY Culture, Race, and Ethnicity Ethics and Philosophy Fashion Food and Drink History Hobbies Law Learning and Education Military Movies Music Place Podcasts and Streamers Politics Programming Reading, Writing, and Literature Religion and Spirituality Science Tabletop Games . I am SO sick and tired of being invisible and you, you can change all of that! This book is dangerous! I'm talkin' jump-scares, the jerky Japanese ghost-walk. ITS ALMOST A GIVEN THAT I WILL ALL SOON BE ALIVE. We can't start a family in a house with creaky floorboards! DELIA: I dont see race. But thats only because I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! Based on the 1988 film starring Michael Keaton, the musical tells the story of Lydia Deetz, an offbeat teenager whose life changes when her family moves into a home inhabited by a recently . LYDIA: What? OTHO: Yes, (imitating DELIA) Woah! By the time you read this, I will be gone, having jumped off . You are tougher than you look. DELIA: Charles, maybe we should just tell her about us. (DELIA screams.) Gonna go on a little vision quest, find my dad. Just like, what if Im never happy again? CHARLES: Thats because Im trying to Delia, do your job please, life coach her. And she left us. It's from the store! The rule bookI present: The Handbook for The Recently Deceased. Beetlejuice is a musical with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect and book by Scott Brown and Anthony King. Scott Brown Do the research! FORESHADOWING. And its not fair, you know? I relate to it in so many ways, especially in Lydia's journey through grief. BEETLEJUICE: I'm sorry, you're giving me advice? THEY'RE SWEET, BUT I'M A DEMON STRAIGHT FROM HELL, (LYDIA pushes BEETLEJUICE off of the roof.). Ah! Weve already said it a bunch of times! JUNO: Oh, Lawrence, that was beautiful. WHY DO YOU POLISH YOUR CRIB WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A KID? Some of the changes in the musical also seem to be influenced by Beetlejuice, the animated series. Its like against the law at my house. Beetlejuice tickets will be available to purchase soon. New York, NY, Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall ADAM: You away from her! First time haunting your own genuine haunted house, and youre a natural. What an effervescent young lady you are. ), THEY'LL NEVER GET THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES. GIRL SCOUT: Okay Well- Maybe I should come back another time when your parents are home? I know that my name's on the marquee, but youre going to have to watch a new show. Im crying because Im so happy. CHARLES: Sweet Jesus, Delia we need a real exorcist! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" IT'S SHOWTIME! This is such an interesting font! NOW LETS SKIP THE TEARS AND START ON THE WHOLE YOU KNOW, AND IF I HEAR YOUR CELL PHONE RINGING, ILL KILL YOU MYSELF, BEETLEJUICE: YOURE, YOURE GONNA BE FINE, DIE, YOURE ALL GONNA DIE, YOURE ALL GONNA DIE, YEAH, I KNOW YOURE WOKE, BUT YOU CAN TAKE A JOKE HERE, AND EVERY SHOW I DO LIKE A TON OF COKE HERE, BEETLEJUICE: YOU'RE YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE, ENSEMBLE: DEATH IS TABOO, BUT IT'S HARDLY SOMETHING NEW, THERE'S NOTHING MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS CAN DO, BEETLEJUICE IF YOU DIE WHILE WATCHING THIS PERFORMANCE, THE SHOW WILL NOT STOP, AND ON A CERTAIN DATE, THE UNIVERSE KILLS YOU, SO, HOW BOUT WE ALL MAKE A START (DIES IRAE! BARBARA: THEN THERE'S THE WHOLE DARN ECONOMY, ADAM AND BARBARA: READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP. Prrokie! ADAM: I didnt think it was that weak! Mom? And breathers worry so much about their stupid little lives, most of them never notice anything strange or unusual unless you make them. Knock three times. Cmon! LYDIA: Im alone. I orbit. Grab what you can and- (pulls blanket and reveals DELIA.) Netherworld. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . Sayonara. So this is what you get! LYDIA: He doesnt see me either. Thats why Im doing this. Pigs cant climb! Shes definitely done some stuff, I can tell. Never change! If we want our house back, we have to fight for it! You said you would help us! It was like the perfect dad joke! Girl, just say it three times in a row. Thats why youre stuck in the attic! Living girl! CHARLES: I already did change. (a beat.) ADAM: What other choice do we have? Yes, its been very creepy. DELIA: But what if its Lydia? You dont recognize me? Powerless. But when he turns it on, what if your mom shows up instead? LYDIA: The ghosts! Now, we have two days to transform this old house into the flagship model home of my new gated community. Wheres your handbook? In the new Broadway adaptation of Tim Burton's 1988 cult classic film "Beetlejuice," teenager Lydia takes center stage alongside the . Every success begins with sucks and ends with yes. I never said-, LYDIA: You never say ANYTHING! BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah right! By the time you read this note. OTHO: So glad that you asked. BEETLEJUICE: DON'T BE SO VANILLA WOULD A LITTLE ANGER KILL YA? : 1) Lollapalooza -- Created in 1991 as a farewell tour for Perry Farrell's band, it ran annually until 1997, and was revived in 2003. BARBARA Oh, honey. We do not have time to make screaming, passionate, love right now. I know, theres still so much I wanted to do. DELIA: AHHH! BEETLEJUICE: Thank you! And he gave me this. And you wont even say her name. Shes always like Get a job! or Why is your hair purple? or I shouldve left, like your father. The point is, Maybe we can help each other out, DON'T YOU WANT A PAL? DELIA: Charles! It has to stop. BEETLEJUICE: Adam (dramatic pause.) And he's to blame. Its a little crooked. Thank God you didn't die in Italy.". LYDIA: Perhaps thats because I myself, am strange and unusual. CHARLES: What? BEETLEJUICE: WOO! But what if it doesnt last? We want to help you! BEETLEJUICE: YouareADORABLE (kisses Adam) HA! Do you understand what Im proposing? And Lydia, I think Ill miss you most of all. But the two of you can. LYDIA: Were not a family. Everyone here would go back if they could! Thats why Ive been trying so hard to build a new one. Hiya mom! A few nights before she- before the end, Emily took my hand and said, I know you wanna fix it. Why dont you and I clear out all that old junk in the attic, and build you a dark room! And yet, I worry. Synopsis: Beetlejuice, a malevolent spirit masquerading as a guide to the Netherworld meets the Maitlands, a recently deceased couple learning the ropes of haunting their own home. BEETLEJUICE: I KNOW THAT BARBARA! BEETLEJUICE: Its my middle name. BEETLEJUICE: NO! BEETLEJUICE: HIS NAME WAS KEVIN! Afraid Id marry her? Suggested Audition Pieces Auditioning for Lydia? Delia! But together, well make him see! Fun at parties! YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, GIRL I GOT YOUR BACK, GIRL I'M HELPING YOU GROW", TIME TO TAKE COMMAND YOU DICTATE THE HAND THE UNIVERSE DEALS. ADAM: I know! Just a bunch of Howards and then you die. Does this couch make me look dead? New phone, who dis? It is based on Tim Burton's 1988 film of the same name. LYDIA: Shade Maternal, Fate Infernal, I summon thee with Saturns breath. The happiness is completely gone, and that just makes me really sad. Eddie Perfect, Lydia is a dark, yet exceedingly smart young woman. The two of you need to hire me right now. (goes to kiss him, but gags.). (a beat.) And Im still here! (a beat.) BARBARA: But were invisible. DELIA: Dont you worry Charles, if we make it look fabulous, no one will ever know its actually crushingly insecure and older than it says it is. Alex Brightman and Sophia Anne Caruso in "Beetlejuice." Matthew Murphy. Your father was trying to hide you from us. Well, Bye! JUNO: You are the embarrassment. Feel nothing. CHARLES: Delia, you erotic astronaut! Uh, hey! its just like Wah, Wah, Wah Wah Wah Wah. All these feelings. BARBARA: Adam! Tagged: Whorehouse, Anxious. These are the biggest changes that . LYDIA: Classic Bait and Switch, Oldest trick in the book! ADAM: You don't like this stuff? CHARLES: Lydia! BEETLEJUICE: Exorcism. GET OUTTA MY WAY. You were so desperate for somebody to love you that you act like a damn fool. All you gotta do is say my name! And they have scorpions for teeth! BEETLEJUICE: Well make it snappy, I WANT CAKE! My names not Otho! BEETLEJUICE: Okay, plan B! We couldve been such a great team. Can I bring her back? Charles! I asked you to send me a sign. Beetlejuice - Musical. Well actually it was just this really hot apartment in Queens, where the doors locked from the outside. BEETLEJUICE: And I know that now. JUNO: My name is Juno! All rights go to Tim Burton and creator. OH! Dad, n-no you cant do that. ; Establishing Character Moment: Adam and the spider. Smash. Get the shrimp! For decades, there's been talk about making a "Beetlejuice" sequel, but in the early '90s screenwriter Jonathan Gem wrote an entire script for a follow-up (via Far Out Magazine). ADAM: (as if hes possessed.) I dont know what I did. All ganging up against the mean lady from hell! JUST THINK OF THE UNIVERSE AS A FEMALE BEST FRIEND, AND YOU CAN BE LIKE "HEY, UNIVERSE, WHAT'S HAPPENIN', GIRL? BEETLEJUICES: ALL WE WANNA DO IS HEAR THAT SOUND. ** The ghost-with-the-most is coming to life on stage in this original musical based on Tim Burton's wonderfully demented film of the same . Beetlejuice will play its first show on Friday, April 8, 2022, it was announced Monday. And now, finally theyre about to die! Thats a neat trick. 2."Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. You know, socially liberal, but fiscally conservative. Barbara, put her there now put her here, OWWWWW! LYDIA: There's one thing that can still stop him. BARBARA: Thats so strange, Its not hot. All Ive gotta do is get a living person to say my name three times. Its the last day of their entire lives and this is what theyre talking about! Here you got a solid plan B option. DELIA: The b is silent, but it still stings. do not like him! She held her lip between her teeth and went to find him at once. Couple of five-star reviews. DELIA: Why thank you, future step-daughter. You ripe old bastard. DELIA: (Ringing Triangle.) Do you remember what I said? (BEETLEJUICE bursts in on the Sandworm.). But someone must have said Beetlejuice's name three times, because . Everyone can see me now, but if I were alive, I could get out of the house, meet my kind of people. Mom was the ghost of Edgar Allan Poe! 2019 Broadway Beetlejuice the Musical Songs with Lyrics. BEETLEJUICE: Whered I lose you? Im on your side, and I always will be. The oldest trick in the book. LYDIA: Yeah, me too. Now rise, and be released from death! ENSEMBLE: Daylight come and we wan' go PASTOR: (spoken) In times like these, we have no words We have only each other Today we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz Devoted wife . I love it! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. THE MAITLANDS: (ghostly.) LYDIA: The ghosts who live here want you gone! LYDIA: What? It CLICKS OFF. Why dont you have a handbook? Again. After Adam and Barbara realized that Lydia wasn't like the rest of her family, they didn't want Betelgeuse to scare her anymore. And you won't believe how far I'll go. Not answering! BEETLEJUICE: Please dont make me beg. OTHO: Let me say it (dramatically) DEATH! BEETLEJUICE: No. If I get Maxie Dean in my corner, the investments will pour in. Welcome to MsMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Dance Scenes in '80s Movies. LYDIA: Dad, how long do we have to stay here? And here we are sneaking around like two teenagers at a church picnic. Devoted wife to Charles, beloved mother to Lydia. (exits), BEETLEJUICE: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE ME, I VANISHED LIKE A CLOUD OF DIRTY HIPSTER VAPE, LYDIA: By the time you read this I, Lydia Deetz, will be gone there's nothing for me here I'm alone, forsaken, invisible. BEETLEJUICE: Looks like we're not invisible anymore! But you can. Woah, sorry, I didnt mean to yell its justYou make daddy so angry. YOU CAN DIE TOGETHER! And then mom said, Lets clean up. And she made us sing that song she always loved. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wild "ghost with the most" from the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. Every single time I finally feel like I start to belong, its Goodbye Delia Youre out of the band Delia Vishnu doesnt need more disciples Delia!. LYDIA: Hey Delia! Beetlejuice the Musical Script by Jesse. Anthony King You are never gonna regret this! The gross-out ghost from the supernatural Tim Burton comedy 'Beetlejuice' sings and dances in this splashy Broadway musical starring Alex Brightman as the demonic degenerate and Sophia What if shes possessed? DELIA: No, I thought youd be proud of me for taking inititAHve. (MOVERS move in furniture.) Welcome to our model home. BEETLEJUICE: For a price. I have some good news. Ooohh? She's now taking to TikTok to spread [] With a lovely family inside. BARBARA: Excuse me, this is all happening very fast, we just died and now youre here, and now theyre here and-. Cuz, shed love this! Scarecrow. Well be right back. If requested, here are a few audition monologues for Beetlejuice: "MacKenzie #1" in Audition Arsenal for Men in Their 20s . CHARLES: Thats insane, shes not(BEETLEJUICE uses his powers to shut up CHARLES. 24m. LYDIA: NO! JUNO: STOP! It's not about that. Find some interesting quotes from when she felt alone here, they will make you think! Chuck, I never leave home without them (he and MAXINE erupt into laughter.) STOREROOM - DAY Adam puts away the tape but keeps on humming the song. Maybe, we can help each other! "Beetlejuice" is closing on Broadway in January, ending its unconventional, fan-fueled run on the Great White Way. Otho : [while Lydia shows them the attic] Fabulous. What if Lydia walks in? She would start drinking, and Id be like Mom stop drinking. This is not working out. (in a southern accent.) Oh, Adam, were just getting started! If you're a fan of Beetlejuice the Musical on Broadway, then you probably know Elizabeth Teeter. Ready, Set, Not Yet - Adam . OTHO: Delia! That was a disaster. BEETLEJUICE: Holy crap! Which does not come easy. *Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we have matching monologues and song information in our database. OTHO: (offstage.) Beebleboose! Yes book? BEETLEJUICE: Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, please say yes. BEETLEJUICE Finished? BARBARA: This is the first nice moment weve had sincesince we died. The Preacher, Beetlejuice, and Lydia. *Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we have matching monologues and song information in our database. Now, go on girl, get out of here, you know youre free, go on, get out of here. Put er there! LYDIA: Does it say anything about summonings or seances? Maybe I should answer for her. Now I just need to convince Maxie Dean. BEETLEJUICE: Nice moves Lydia! ADAM: Oh! Maybe Ive been all wrong about you. Dont you get it? Dad, please. Guy talk howd you do it? Oh my god! DELIA/OTHO: Life is life. And that is exactly how we can beat him. EVEN, LIKE, A TAX ATTORNEY WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER, SOMEBODY WITH GRAVITAS SOMEBODY TO FEAR WHO, ADAM: Excuse me, Mr. Beetlejuice we can kind of hear you. Beetlejuice is a stage musical with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect and book by Scott Brown and Anthony King. Who knows what hes done to Lydia! I am angry! (they scream.) OTHO: I dont know. It's a gold mine! Like a gay republican! BEETLEJUICE: Well then you have to learn how to scare them! The Maitlands and Beetlejuice, Lydia thinks, can bring her to the netherworld to see her mother once more. In Conclusion: Beetlejuice the Musical Is Fantastic. (an idea.) Lift with your back! LYDIA: I had a change of heart. BEETLEJUICE: Theyre taking it to the dump and without me theyre going to do that to everything! Then you won't believe how far I'll go. LYDIA: Hey dad? Ive never felt this before. Then, the B-mans free and the mai tais are on me. So, what do you say? Beetlejuice (v.o) (laughs to himself) you are a naughty man. GIRL SCOUT: THIS IS IT THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR, WISHING, HOPING, WORKING, AND PRAYING FOR, THE DAY MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN DELAYING FOR YEARS, IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT THAT THEY'RE OVERPROTECTIVE, I WAS BORN WITH ARRHYTHMIA MY HEART IS DEFECTIVE, ONLY TAKES ONE SHOCK AND I COULD BE DEAD FROM THE FEAR, THE GIRL SCOUTS HELPED MY HEART GROW STRONG, THEY'D HAVE MY BACK IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG WITH ME, DISTRACT ME FROM THE FACT THAT MY HEART COULD STOP. You are the sun. Ooh, ooh, somebody's at the door; alright, Let's make some more people scream! Youll have to open the door to find out. BEETLEJUICE: Why do you gotta be so hard on me, Mom? LYDIA: I cant open it. It has u but doesnt have a me. BUT BEETLEJUICE, IT'S NOT AS IF I'VE LOST MY MIND. LYDIA: I dont know. Your moms dead, shes in the Netherworld. All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. Theyre chasing me! Lydia, you are so weird. They become caught up in the supernatural elements and try to get Lydia to realize what she really needs the most. Join StageAgent today and unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. And we should tell her that! YOUVE JUST BEEN WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TEACHER. I am the once and forever, Miss Argentina! YEAH! I was like, Pick a lane, Bill!. Complimentary and Deeply Discounted Shows. Wait, why aren't you dancing? Use their user talk pages. JUNO: Report to processing! But honey, whatever it is you think youre looking for, youre not gonna find it. BEETLEJUICE Oh, theyre both gonna get it. CHARLES: That demon with the stupid hair, hell be waiting for us. Step 4: Select a monologue. BEETLEJUICE: Ugh, holy moly, a lot of people come to this house, lights! But hes my monster. ADAM: Do you mean us? This guy knows what Im talking about, I gotta get out of here! This is so wrong, your my employee, but also my lover! If you would like to give a public . Im the perfect person to help you battle your ghost. Mr. DELIA: Charles, that was the most spiritually nourishing rogering you have ever given me. We were told living people ignore the strange and unusual. The whole "being dead" thing has never been so frightfully fun as in Beetlejuice, the Broadway musical based on the 1988 Tim Burton cult classic movie. LYDIA: YeahItd be terrible if we all let each other down, DELIA: (Rings Triangle.) And they eat ghosts. So. My dad never wants me to talk about her. You need a mother. (Instrumental with screams layered as BEETLEJUICE is unleashed.). BEETLEJUICE: Im tired of being alone! LYDIA: But were moving forward!, right? Im not going anywhere! BEETLEJUICE: I mean you literally jumped into hell to get away from me. There's lots of cool stuff in there! And nothing else exists. Wait! Can everybody see me? Were still in our house, all our stuff is here! You dont like your dad, and I dont like my mom! All of us! Thats great! That was an old Scandinavian folk song. Youre still breathing arent you? AND ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SAY MY NAME THREE TIMES. Well its a lot bigger on the inside! THIS FEATURE IS ONLY AVAILABLE FOR PRO MEMBERS. We are invisible. LYDIA: I dont want your help. THE MAITLANDS: (creepily.) I thought I was bringing my mom back! DELIA Business friends: I have only known this amazing, amazing man and his unique daughter for a few months I don't even know how many, I'd have to check my pay stubs! but, as my guru Otho always says. ADAM: I gotta say hun, were lucky. So, on the count of three just yell out the scariest thing you can think of! Beetlejuice- wedding scene by beetlejuice - Karaoke Lyrics on Smule. You and me, were not that different. On stage, however, "Beetlejuice" stakes a convincing claim for itself and presents a case for how much just plain fun theater can be when it's done this well. Move forward. ), BEETLEJUICE: HEY ITS GREAT THAT YOU ATE UP MY PLAN, NOW THE POOCH HAS BEEN SCREWED AND THE SHIT HIT THE FAN, BEETLEJUICE: YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG BOOK. CHARLES: Except brains. All you gotta do is say my name. Based on Tim Burton's 1988 wonderfully demented film, Beetlejuice The Musical follows Lydia Deetz - a strange and unusual teenager whose life takes an unexpected turn when she meets the former owners of her house - who just happen to be dead - and a degenerate demon from the Netherworld. TELL MY STORYYYYYY! Oh, my God! DELIA: Oh! It is based on the 1988 film of the same name, directed by Tim Burton with story by Michael McDowell and Larry Wilson, about a deceased couple who try to haunt the new inhabitants of their former home and call help from a devious bio-exorcist ghost named Betelgeuse (pronounced . Welcome, welcome, welcome! BEETLEJUICE Isnt this amazing? Sucks-Yes! Join the StageAgent community IS SIMPLY A MANIFESTATION OF MOTHERLY PANIC, AREN'T YOU CREATING A WAY OF TRANSLATING THE TERROR, HIDING AWAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE BEING A BAD MOM, ADAM AND BARBARA: SOON ENOUGH, OUR HOPES AND OUR DREAMS WILL BE CRUSHED. All I have to do is convince Lydia to marry me. Theres a Toblerone, a bath bomb, a book youre never going to read. One big dark room. Delia! ", AND SHE'LL BE LIKE "OH, NOTHIN' JUST RUNNING THE WORLD.". ADAM: CHEFS WHO USE TOO MUCH SAGE WHEN THEY MAKE BEURRE NOISETTE, BEETLEJUICE: WELL, THERE'S LOTS THERE TO USE, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST PRIMAL SCREAM, BEETLEJUICE: TRY IT AGAIN MAYBE THIS TIME PRETEND LIKE YOU MEAN IT. ADAM: What the heck did they do to our house? Hope I didnt scare you (screams) ARITHMIA 1234. BEETLEJUICE: Its a figure of speech Adam, okay? Shade Maternal, Fate Infernal. MISS ARGENTINA: But thats impossible, you youre a living girl. I am a very sexual being, and I do love me an orgy, but I say this with love, but you all dont strike me as the orgying kind. And I fear for my safety around you. Because dead or alive, you dont got somebody who really gets you, then youre going to feel lonely and worthless and youll never reach your goal weight because you eat when youre sad this guy knows what Im talking about. CHARLES: Do you hear that, Delia? ONE DAY YOU MAY WAKE UP ALONE, DELIA: 'CAUSE YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS BOYFRIEND BOUGHT A BOAT AND THEN THEY SAILED AWAY TO ROME, DELIA: SO YOU CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP IN DEEP DESPAIR, TALKIN' TO THE WALLS 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE THERE, 'CAUSE THAT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE TO HAVE A FAMILY, THAT YOUR AGING ASS WILL HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT , A LITTLE "I AM STILL YOUNG!!!" AND THE UNIVERSE WILL BE LIKE "I KNOW! BARBARA: You cant make every wall an accent wall! Hes my white whale. Did I mention that my moms a demon? Normally, I perform exorcisms por bono, but you made me come to Connecticut. Oh, speaking of luggage, have you met my fourth wife?